Why Intentions Work When Resolutions Don’t

Each January, many of us create long lists of resolutions to improve our lives - promises to exercise more, eat healthier, save money, or limit screen time. While well-intentioned, research shows that nearly 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions by February (Stahl, 2021). Instead of setting yourself up for frustration, you may find greater success by focusing on intentions rather than strict goals. Setting intentions allows you to live your values, enjoy the process, and build habits that are sustainable and meaningful.

How are Intentions Different from Resolutions?
At first, it may be difficult to distinguish between intentions and resolutions. Robin Lanehurst explains that resolutions are specific, measurable goals that focus on single actions, while intentions are broader guiding principles that can influence multiple areas of life (Lanehurst, 2022). While intentions emphasize overall values (such as health, family, or creativity), resolutions narrow in on particular tasks or behaviors within one context. For example, you might set a resolution to workout three times a week, but set an intention to "choose to move joyfully through the world” (Calm Editorial Team, 2023). Intention setting is about self-reflection and determining how you want to experience life, rather than what specific outcomes you want to achieve (Calm Editorial Team, 2023). 

Benefits of Intention Setting
Setting intentions offers a more flexible approach to personal growth. Instead of focusing on strict goals or measurements, intentions invite you to explore what feels nourishing and sustainable. This practice encourages enjoyment, mindfulness, self-awareness and aligning your daily actions with your values and priorities (Lanehurst, 2022). By focusing on the journey rather than the outcomes, intentions support lasting habits, personal growth and a more mindful way of living (Calm Editorial Team, 2023). 

How to Set Your Intentions
When setting intentions, it is important to approach them differently than traditional goals or resolutions. Instead of listing strict targets, start by identifying your top values and the activities you genuinely enjoy. For example, your values might include family, health, helping others, beauty, or nature, while your favorite activities could be long bike rides, cooking for friends, or enjoying a relaxing pedicure (Lanehurst, 2022). The key is to find ways these lists overlap, especially in ways that you have not made space for in the way you would like to (Lanehurst, 2022). Write your intentions in the present tense, as if you are already living them - such as, “I am spending time sharing nature with my family” or “I am enjoying good food with good people”. This process encourages you to reflect on questions like, “How do I want to live?” and “What qualities do I want to embody?” Ultimately, it helps you create intentions that support authentic living and allow you to respond to daily life with mindfulness and purpose (Calm, 2023).

Using Your Intentions Throughout the Year
To make your intentions meaningful, write them down somewhere you will see them often and consider sharing them with trusted friends or even on social media. Regular check-ins through journaling, notes on your phone, or conversations with a therapist can help you stay connected to your intentions and notice the small ways you are living them (Lanehurst, 2022). Use your intentions to guide everyday choices that reflect your values, such as drinking your morning coffee outside if your intention is to spend more time in nature. Small changes like this allow your actions to come from a place of gentle guidance rather than more rigid enforcement. It is also important to remember that intentions are not fixed; they can evolve as you grow, adapting to your current needs and aspirations. As registered psychotherapist Natacha Duke, MA, RP explains, “you are never really finished with this practice once you get started…you can’t fail because it can be revisited and redefined as you grow, as you have experiences and as your sense-of-self shifts…it’s really about how you want to show up for yourself and what’s most important for you at any given moment of your life” (Cleveland Clinic, 2025). 

Examples of Mindful Intentions
Here are a few examples of mindful intentions that may inspire you as you create your own:

  • I make a conscious effort to recognize and meet my physical, emotional, and mental needs

  • I prioritize building and maintaining meaningful relationships

  • I embrace uplifting opportunities

  • I acknowledge and appreciate the good in my life, both big and small

  • I am fully present in each moment

References:

Calm Editorial Team. (2023, February 6).  The power of setting intentions & how to set mindful ones. Retrieved from https://www.calm.com/blog/setting-intentions

Cleveland Clinic. (2025, March 27). Making the Most Out of Setting Intentions. Retrieved from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-set-intentions

Lanehurst, Robin. (2022, January 4). Setting Intentions for the New Year. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/educate-advocate-empower/202201/setting-intentions-the-new-year?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Stahl, Ashley. (2021, December 9). This New Year's Set Goals, Not Resolutions. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2021/12/09/this-new-years-set-goals-not-resolutions/?sh=5e5b11c81ece

Reshape the Holidays to Support Your Well-Being

The holiday season is often a time that comes with a long list of traditions - ones we cherish, ones we have simply inherited, and others that no longer resonate with who we are. While traditions can offer comfort and connection, they can also create pressure, negative feelings, or a sense of obligation that diminishes joy. Research conducted by the American Psychiatric Association found that 41% of American adults reported an increase in stress during the holidays (Wilde, 2023).This year, consider giving yourself permission to redefine the holiday season in ways that support your mental and emotional well-being.

Decide What Truly Matters to You
Before the flurry of invitations, countdowns, and shopping lists take over, take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you when it comes to the holidays. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Which traditions energize me?

2. Which traditions drain me?

3. What feelings do I want more of this season? Peace? Connection? Rest? Fun?

Be honest with yourself so you can start being more intentional about how you spend your time and energy this December.

Let Go of Traditions That No Longer Serve You
Just because you have been doing something every year does not mean you have to keep doing it. If a tradition is exhausting, a financial burden or makes you unhappy, it may be time to let it go. Examples of letting go of traditions can include:

  • Opting out of certain gatherings

  • Scaling back on gift-giving

  • Choosing more low-key holiday decor 

  • Limiting how often you bake or cook for holiday events

Remember that letting go of certain traditions actually creates space for new traditions that better align with the person you are today.

Build New Traditions That Support Your Well-Being
After identifying what you value in traditions, you can create new ones that support those values. Your new traditions can be personal, family-oriented, or include good friends:

  • Going on winter nature walks

  • Having a weekly cozy “night in”

  • Keeping a gratitude journal through the holiday season

  • Focusing on experiences or DIY presents for gift exchanges

  • Volunteering or donating to causes you are passionate about

Set Healthy Boundaries 
Some people may equate setting boundaries with creating conflict or distance from others, but boundaries are actually a great way to ensure the holidays are enjoyable for everyone. Setting, communicating and maintaining healthy boundaries can strengthen your relationships and lead to fewer misunderstandings (Martin, 2021) Examples of ways you can communicate boundaries include:

  • “I will be at the dinner, but I need to leave early.”

  • “I’m keeping gifts simple this year.”

  • “I would be happy to celebrate, but I need something low-key this year.”

References:

Martin, Sharon. (2021, December 16). Healthy Holiday Boundaries. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202112/healthy-holiday-boundaries

Wilde, Sadie. (2023, November 10). Ask an Expert — Four Ways Gratitude Can Keep Your Holidays Happy. Retrieved from https://www.usu.edu/today/story/ask-an-expert--four-ways-gratitude-can-keep-your-holidays-happy

Honoring Loss, Nurturing Hope: How We Help Schools Heal

As the season of gratitude begins, it offers a great opportunity to pause, reflect, and give back. This time of year is more than just a time for generosity - it is a time to express gratitude for the people who uplift and inspire us. For many, this season also brings memories of loved ones who are no longer with us that can be challenging to navigate. Grief support is a deeply human but often unseen component of Acknowledge Alliance’s work with educators and students. As we all come together in the spirit of generosity and giving, we're proud to highlight the meaningful work our resilience counselors are doing to help people find connection and healing after loss.

One educator recently shared:

“This school year, one of my coworkers passed away in a sudden and tragic way, which has impacted our whole community, but especially those with whom we had a personal relationship outside of work. Coming to work was extremely challenging because it has been a daily reminder of that tragic loss, and we all grieve in different ways. Having a grief circle and a space where our feelings are validated and where we could see that we were not alone in this journey and that other people were also mourning her loss helped me acknowledge what I was feeling and not just suppress it like I tend to do.”

When a school experiences a loss, the ripple effects touch everyone - educators, students, families, and staff. Our resilience counselors sent the message below after one of our partner schools lost a beloved member of their community:

"As we process the news of Morgan’s* passing, I invite you to share a few thoughts in a special notebook available in the staff room. You can add anything you'd like to this book - something Morgan said or did that inspired you or encouraged you, a funny memory with Morgan, a note of gratitude, or even a creative offering such as a drawing or poem... As many of you know, one loss can bring up feelings and memories from previous losses. Please take care of yourselves: rest, hydration, laughter, movement, and self-compassion are essentials. Reach out if you need anything. We're here for you."

(*individuals’ names have been changed to respect privacy)

In the days that followed, our Acknowledge Alliance counselors created a gentle space for healing along with a memory notebook to fill with reflections, drawings, and stories. It became a sacred space for teachers to grieve together, to honor a life that mattered, and to begin the slow process of healing.

Moments like these are at the heart of what Acknowledge Alliance does. When tragedy strikes - whether through illness, accident, or suicide - our resilience counselors drop everything to be there. They listen. They comfort. They help educators hold space for their grief while continuing to care for their students.

At 27 K-8 schools in San Mateo and Santa Clara County, Acknowledge Alliance resilience counselors guide educators as they navigate the everyday challenges of teaching and uplifting their students. When educators feel supported and empowered, they create classrooms rooted in safety, compassion, and possibility - spaces where everyone can thrive.

And this vital work is only possible because of people like you.

Cultivating Gratitude: Supporting Resilience This Holiday Season

As Thanksgiving approaches, it marks the beginning of the winter holiday season - a time often filled with celebration, connection, and reflection. Yet for many, this season can also bring stress, sadness, anxiety, or even depression. Family gatherings may stir up tension or painful memories, and the emotional and financial pressures of meeting expectations can feel overwhelming.

In these moments, practicing gratitude can be a powerful tool for restoring balance and emotional well-being. At Acknowledge Alliance, our resilience consultants regularly emphasize gratitude as a simple yet powerful way to nurture mental health.

Research consistently shows that gratitude is linked to greater happiness and improved relationships. People who regularly reflect on what they’re thankful for often experience better sleep, more patience, and an increased sense of optimism.

As part of our Project Resilience social-emotional learning lessons, our resilience consultants remind students how practicing gratitude can help us rewire our brains to focus on what is strong instead of what is wrong: 

“Our brains are wired to think negative thoughts first, to keep us alive and safe. It’s harder to think positive thoughts, we have to work at it. We have to practice thinking positively to be able to think positively more often.” 


Join Our 7-Day Gratitude Challenge!
This month, we invite our family of supporters to take part in our 7-Day Gratitude Challenge. Each day, set aside a few moments to notice something that brings you joy, comfort, or strength.

How to participate:

Day 1: Write down three things (big or small) that brought you joy today.

Day 2: Tell someone (in person, by text, or in a note) why you appreciate them.

Day 3: Notice something beautiful in your surroundings and pause to enjoy it.

Day 4: Reflect on a challenge you have overcome and what it taught you.

Day 5: Share gratitude as a family or class by going around and naming one thing you are thankful for.

Day 6: Practice self-gratitude by writing down one thing you value about yourself.

Day 7: Reflect on how this week of gratitude has made you feel. Have you noticed any changes in your mood or perspective?

Share your reflections with us by tagging @AcknowledgeAlliance. Let’s inspire each other to focus on the good around us and within us!

Flourishing: Honed Skills with Ripple Effects

Interest in the idea of “human flourishing” has grown in recent years, especially around its relevance to the fields of education, health, and community development. So what exactly is flourishing and what can it mean for you personally and for your community?

At Harvard University’s Human Flourishing Program, flourishing is defined as “a state in which all aspects of a person’s life are good, including the contexts in which that person lives” (VanderWeele, 2025). Flourishing is an ideal we work toward, rather than something we can ever fully achieve. According to Harvard, key areas of flourishing include:

1. Happiness and life satisfaction 
2. Physical and mental health 
3. Meaning and purpose 
4. Character and virtue 
5. Close social relationships 
6. Financial and material stability

In their daily roles, Acknowledge Alliance resilience consultants provide strengths-based coaching, support groups, social-emotional learning, counseling, and crisis intervention to empower educators with tools to manage stress, nurture relationships, and guide students with compassion and confidence. Our resilience consultants are incorporating human flourishing into school-based practices, resulting in meaningful benefits for both students and teachers.

In an August episode of the podcast To The Best of Our Knowledge, Dr. Richard Davidson,  neuroscientist and Director of the Center for Healthy Minds, shared examples of how incorporating simple mindfulness practices boosted the flourishing of teachers and led to significantly improved academic performance in students:

RICHARD: So for example, we've done research with public school teachers, and public school teachers are a group that has been really stressed out over the last period of time. It's been exacerbated by COVID. Research shows that in the United States today, roughly 50% of public school teachers are showing clinically significant signs of depression and/or anxiety, so it's a crisis. So we have worked with teachers to help improve the skills of flourishing, and one of the things we do is to invite them to reflect on their purpose in becoming a teacher. We ask them to do this for a minute before they start work, and then we sprinkle it through the day just in one-minute periods. And teachers have reported that this is an elixir for their soul. It gives them vitality, it helps them navigate the adversities that they're confronting, but it only will work if you do it consistently. So you don't have to do a lot of it, but it's important to do it consistently, and what we've shown is if you do this for a month, for five minutes, between four and five minutes a day, it will have demonstrable impact on your flourishing.

STEVE: So I know you've done some research already in the Louisville schools, can you talk about what you found there?

RICHARD: Yeah, so we did a project in the Jefferson County school system, which is the public school system in Louisville, Kentucky, and we opened it up to everyone. The majority were teachers, but we had people who worked in the school cafeteria, we had people who were bus drivers. It was open to any person who was paid 50% or more by the Jefferson County Public School District.

STEVE: So how many people total were in this study there, just so I have a sense of scale here?

RICHARD: Approximately 850.

STEVE: Okay, yeah, so that's a lot of people.

RICHARD: Yeah, a lot of people, and then the real kicker for this is by prior agreement with the school system, we obtained the records of students on their academic performance, and we were able to compare the students who were taught by teachers randomly assigned to the flourishing intervention, and we compared them to students who are taught by teachers randomly assigned to a control group. And of course, the students had no idea that there was a study happening…They were just taking tests.

STEVE: And it's not as if the teachers were, you know, preaching the virtues of, you know, contemplative practice. I mean, they were just doing their normal thing

RICHARD: Right, exactly. And we actually found that on standardized tests of language ability and of math ability, the students who were taught by teachers randomly assigned to the flourishing intervention performed significantly better. This is the first time in our knowledge that this has ever been shown, and the sample size for the students is around 14,000. And so this is really been the kind of holy grail of this kind of work, and this ripple effect, we believe, is extraordinarily important.

Learn more about flourishing and how it can be scaled up to boost the well-being of entire communities by listening to the full podcast episode or reading the transcript here.

References

Strainchamps, A., & Paulson, S. (Hosts). (2025, August 30). Island of Knowledge: Human Flourishing [Audio podcast episode]. In To the Best of our Knowledge. Wisconsin Public Radio / PRX. Retrieved from https://www.ttbook.org/show/island-knowledge-human-flourishing

VanderWeele, T. J. (2025, September). Human Flourishing: An Introductory Framework. The Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University, Institute for Quantitative Social Science. Retrieved from https://hfh.fas.harvard.edu/sites/g/files/omnuum8886/files/2025-09/HFH.framework.final8%20%28single%20page%20version%29-small.pdf

Never Worry Alone: How to Manage Back-to-School Stress

The children and teenagers in your life are likely feeling the full load of being a month into the new school year. Returning to school is more than simply getting to school on time or completing one’s assignments. Today’s young people are facing increased academic pressure, heightened social anxiety, and less free time due to over-scheduling with extracurricular activities (Cedars-Sinai, 2024). All this increased stress and burnout is leading to mental health symptoms in young people. A CDC study found that “1 in 6 students had enough behavioral or emotional symptoms and impairment to be diagnosed with a childhood mental disorder” (Today, 2023). Alarmingly, a separate 2023 CDC study found that “75% of teen girls living in the United States felt persistently sad or hopeless in 2021 (Today, 2023). With such sobering statistics, we can all do our part to support the wellbeing of the young people in our lives by helping them manage back-to-school stress. 

Managing Time and Maintaining Balance
Many young people feel overwhelmed trying to divide their schedules between academics, extracurricular activities, and personal time (Nandagopal, 2023). Parents can help reduce this kind of stress by aiding students in creating a balanced schedule. A significant aspect of attaining balance is avoiding the trend of over-scheduling with extra-curricular activities, and instead finding “the right amount of organized activity and free time to help promote social and emotional growth and development” (Cedars-Sinai, 2024). It is also important for parents to remember that our children look to us as role models, so we should set a good example by practicing self-care and maintaining our own healthy balance (Cedars-Sinai, 2024).

Establish Physically and Emotionally Healthy Routines
There is a clear link between physical activity and improved emotional wellbeing, with studies showing that “‘even small bursts of physical activity can make a difference in a child’s mood and focus…fitness is medicine when it comes to attention span, learning, and physically feeling well” (Beach & Rock, 2025). Students can also be encouraged to practice stress relieving activities such as stretching, deep breathing or mindfulness exercises to help them reset and refocus throughout the day (Nandagopal, 2023). Sleep quality and amount has a significant influence on youth mental health. A 2022 study published in The Lancet found that children who did not get enough sleep experience more mental health and behavior challenges than their peers who obtained a sufficient amount of sleep (Today, 2023). If you need even more incentive to practice healthy routines, research shows that the mere act of following consistent daily routines can help youth “feel more in control and reduce anxiety” (Nandagopal, 2023). 

Listen to Your Child and Communicate Openly
When a child or teenager feels comfortable speaking to you openly about what is bothering them, they will experience some relief just from being listened to and you are given the opportunity to express your support. With teenagers, “parents shouldn’t try to fix their kids…be there for them, listen to them and let their feelings flow” instead (Beach & Rock, 2025). It is crucial that the focus be on listening without judgement, and offering reassurance when needed (Nandagopal, 2023). If children are struggling with making or keeping friends, it may be helpful to arrange play dates with familiar peers or join clubs or activities they are interested in to build new friendships and confidence (Nandagopal, 2023). We can also remind adolescents and teenagers who may be feeling the pressure to excel academically that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process and there is thus no need to be afraid to fail (Nandagopal, 2023). 

Spend Quality Time Together
One-on-one time with caregivers fosters positive relationships and creates opportunities for talking about mental and emotional wellbeing (Today, 2023). Valuable conversations can be had during the commute to school, or even over a meal or snack. In fact, research shows that regular family meals are linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety (Today, 2023). 

Talk About Bullying
Though many kids do not talk about bullying unless directly asked, the CDC reports that 1 in 5 high school students say they have been bullied at school and more than 1 in 6 say they are bullied electronically (Today, 2023). With this in mind, it is up to parents to proactively address bullying in all its forms with their children, as well as discussing what to do when witnessing bullying and being an ally for fellow students that are struggling (Today, 2023).

Never Worry Alone
Dr. Howard Y. Liu, an adult, child and adolescent psychiatrist and chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Communications, has a model he uses with his own family: “never worry alone” (Today, 2023). Dr. Liu recommends this as a mantra for the entire family - not all young people are going to go to their parents, but they are still very likely to be experiencing worry (Today, 2023). Parents should ensure their child knows they do not need to worry alone and that you are there for them (Today, 2023). 

Keep an eye out for Signs of Stress and Burnout
According to Sabrina Renteria, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in the Cedars-Sinai Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences, “burnout and stress in children and teens can manifest in various ways” (Cedars-Sinair, 2024). Here are some signs of stress and burnout Cedars-Sinai recommends caregivers look out for:

Behaviors to Look For:

  • Trouble sleeping

  • Snappiness or irritability

  • Lack of energy or interest in things that used to enjoy

  • A drop in grades

  • Tearfulness

  • Withdrawing from friends and family

  • In young children, tantrums in the mornings when separating from caregivers and refusing to go to school

Physical Symptoms:

  • Headaches

  • Gastrointestinal issues (stomach aches, diarrhea, nausea/vomiting)

  • Unintended weight loss

  • Generalized pain

  • Trouble falling or staying asleep

References

Beach, Elizabeth & Rock, Kathleen. (2025, August 13). School Year Stress: Acing the Back-to-School Season. Retrieved from https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/news/publications/health-matters/school-year-stress-tips-for-parents

Cedars-Sinai. (2024, August 26). Weathering Back-to-School Stress and Burnout. Retrieved from https://www.cedars-sinai.org/newsroom/surviving-back-to-school-stress-and-burnout/

Nandagopal, Jayasree. (2023, August 22). Back-to-School Stress: How to Cope with it? Retrieved from https://www.healthsolutionswest.org/uncategorized/back-to-school-stress-back-to-school-anxiety/

Today. (2023, August 8). I’m a child psychiatrist: Here are 5 things I do for my kids’ back-to-school mental health. Retrieved from https://www.today.com/parents/teens/back-to-school-mental-help-tips-rcna98627 

Starting the School Year Strong: Centering Relationships in the Classroom

Summer is winding down and the new school year is already upon us. While parents are busy dusting off backpacks and shuttling their kids through drop-off lines, educators at our partner schools are feverishly working to get their years started off well. Whether they are new teachers or seasoned veterans, the first days of instruction are a critical time for teachers to lay the foundations of a successful classroom before any sort of formal learning takes place. Research shows that when “young people maintain positive school-based relationships, their learning and well-being is supported and enhanced” (Hernández & Darling-Hammond, 2024). As teacher and Edutopia contributor Pernille Ripp shares, “building community is one of the most important things we can do in our classrooms. It’s vital that we plant the seeds of student-centered classrooms on the very first day, and that our actions during that first week of school will speak louder than anything else during the rest of the year” (Ripp, 2015). 

Acknowledge Alliance firmly believes in the transformative power of school connectedness and positive relationships. Through individualized check-ins, teacher and principal resilience groups, coaching, and skill-building, our staff work with educators to help them establish caring, trusted relationships with their students and build classrooms where students feel emotionally safe and supported. Read on for some helpful strategies for centering relationships in the classroom and share them with the educators in your life.

1. Establish Classroom Routines and Structures
Although learning rules and routines may sound mundane, “consistent and clear routines in classrooms create a sense of predictability and safety, reduce stress, and facilitate learning for all students” (CASEL, 2019). Some daily routines such as greeting students as they arrive to class or maintaining an open-door policy can even help to deepen relationships between students and teachers (Hernández & Darling-Hammond, 2024).

2. Create a Sense of Community
According to CASEL, “a student’s sense of belonging in their classroom community leads to a more positive connection with school as well as stronger self-efficacy and intrinsic motivation” (CASEL, 2019). Circle discussions are one method of allowing students to share feelings, thoughts and stories openly and honestly. Inspired by circle practices of Indigenous Nations across many cultures, participants sit in a circle and each person has an opportunity to respond to a question or prompt, one at a time and without interruptions (CASEL, 2019). Engaging in this practice regularly can help students feel like they belong and are learning in community.

3. Create Shared Value and Norms Together
Developing classroom norms collaboratively gives students a sense of ownership over mutually established group expectations (Hernández & Darling-Hammond, 2024). Ensure that all students are included in the process and feel comfortable with the agreed upon norms and goals. Display these prominently and make it a habit to revisit them frequently.

4. Use Student-Centered Discipline Practices
Rather than being punitive in nature or removing students from the learning environment, student-centered discipline practices allow teachers to respond to challenging behavior while being respectful of the student’s experience and responsive to their needs (CASEL, 2019). Specific student-centered practices include having discussions and providing students with opportunities to provide feedback, sharing strategies for monitoring and regulating behaviors and emotions, providing problem-solving tools, and teaching and modeling self-reflection (CASEL, 2019). 

5. Celebrate Students’ Full and Diverse Identities 
When each student feels that their teacher values their knowledge, life experiences and culture, students are better able to thrive in school. Teachers can create identity-affirming environments by choosing diverse content so students see themselves reflected in the curriculum (CASEL, 2019). Students can also be invited to share about their unique backgrounds and experiences. 

6. Foster Student Agency and Voice
Educators can help build students’ confidence and ability to manage their own learning by providing opportunities to develop their voice and agency. Student-led learning activities and offering students choice and flexibility are some great practices to help build these important skills (Hernández & Darling-Hammond, 2024).

7. Promote Physical and Emotional Well-Being
We can all benefit from self-care practices that help us be in the ideal physical and emotional state for learning. Breathing, movement and mindfulness exercises are all practices that can help students to manage stress and regulate their emotions (Hernández & Darling-Hammond, 2024).

8. Be Responsive and Provide Meaningful Feedback
Making students feel valued is key to creating a supportive, relationship-centered classroom. To show students that you truly value their perspectives, educators should ask students about their experiences and make changes based on their feedback. Being transparent and following through will further strengthen the partnership between students and teachers (CASEL, 2019).

References

Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. (2019) A Supportive Classroom Environment. Retrieved from https://schoolguide.casel.org/focus-area-3/classroom/a-supportive-classroom-environment/

Hernández, L. E., & Darling-Hammond, L. (with Nielson, N.). (2024, November 21). Cultivating relationships in secondary classrooms: Practices that matter. Learning Policy Institute. Retrieved from https://learningpolicyinstitute.org/product/cultivating-relationships-secondary-classrooms-brief

Rimm-Kaufman, S. (2025, March 5). Improving students' relationships with teachers. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/education-career/k12/relationships

Ripp, Pernille. (2015, August 26). The Student-Centered Classroom: Communicating What Matters. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/blog/student-centered-classroom-communicating-matters-pernille-ripp

How Vacations Can Positively Affect Well-Being

Summer time is usually associated with travel and leisure, but a recent Harris Poll survey found that 78% of Americans do not use the maximum amount of paid time off allowed by their employer (Munk, 2024). Even with 45% of employees expressing burnout at work, the pervasiveness of “hustle culture,” uncertainty about the economy and job insecurity are just some of the reasons many people do not take time off to recharge (Munk, 2024). However, intentionally taking time to rest can be a very valuable and effective form of self-care. Whether traveling internationally or exploring closer to home, taking vacation time has many benefits for your health and well-being. Before you dismiss the idea of making any vacation plans this summer, check out these 5 ways that vacation and travel can positively affect your well-being.

1. Stress Reduction & Improved Health
Most of us are aware that taking a break from your daily responsibilities can lead to a reduction in stress. However, you may be surprised to hear just how impactful these short-term breaks can be for your long-term health and well-being. One study found that “men at high risk of coronary heart disease who took a vacation every year over a nine-year period reduced their overall risk of death by 20% and their risk of death from heart disease by as much as 30%” (Howard, 2025). Other studies have shown that travelers benefit from the sense of autonomy they gain while on vacation, which can lead to direct and indirect effects on overall life satisfaction (Artushin, 2025).

2. Having Something to Look Forward To
Have you ever noticed that you seem to be in a better mood when you have a vacation coming up? You are not alone because studies have shown that people are happier in the leadup to a planned vacation. One study by the University of Surrey found that people are at their happiest when they have a vacation planned and are overall more positive about their health, finances, and general quality of life (Fuller, 2018). Spending your money on a vacation may also be a more fulfilling investment since a Cornell University study found that anticipation of a travel experience produced greater happiness than anticipation of buying a material possession (Fuller, 2018).

3. Increased Empathy
Traveling to new places can broaden your horizons by increasing your empathy toward others. One study found that Americans who traveled abroad were better able to withhold judgement about a person until they learned more about them than just external characteristics like age, sex, race or ethnicity (Kashdan, 2018). The study also found that they were better at determining whether someone’s actions were due to deeply rooted personality traits or if unique situational factors were influencing their behavior (Kashdan, 2018). Whether done near or far, experiencing new things and pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone helps us to broaden our perspectives and combat narrow-mindedness (Fuller, 2018).

4. Enhanced Creativity
As Psychology Today shares, “creativity is directly related to neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life), which means our brains are sensitive to change and are influenced by new environments and experiences” (Fuller, 2018). This means that when we have new experiences, our brain is forming new neural pathways that can enhance our creativity (Fuller, 2018). Research has shown that greater exposure to other cultures through travel, music, food, friendships, and languages is linked to unconventional problem solving (Kashdan, 2018).

5. Greater Emotional Agility
Emotional agility is defined as the ability to recognize and observe your own emotions before reacting to them, so that you can respond to different situations with awareness, understanding and flexibility (Kashdan, 2018). Whether you are navigating unfamiliar streets or asking a stranger for assistance, you can learn a lot about yourself when you are put into new or uncomfortable situations while traveling. Learning to accept and work through your discomfort can actually help you become more confident in your ability to persevere (Kashdan, 2018).
 

References

Artushin, Heather Rose. (2025, April 7). Traveling Is Good for Your Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/well-read/202504/traveling-is-good-for-your-mental-health

Fuller, Kristen. (2018, November 27). Six Ways Traveling Can Boost Your Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201811/six-ways-traveling-can-boost-your-mental-health

Howard, Beth. (2025, April 20). Why Taking a Vacation is Good for You. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2025/04/20/vacation-health-cardiac-bedroom-benefits/

Kashdan, Todd. (2018, January 26). The Mental Benefits of Vacationing Somewhere New. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/01/the-mental-benefits-of-vacationing-somewhere-new

Munk, Cheryl Winokur. (2024, June 14). Taking a Vacation from Work May Soon Become Mandatory. Retrieved from https://www.cnbc.com/2024/06/14/taking-a-vacation-from-work-may-soon-become-mandatory.html

How to be Supportive to Someone Coming Out

June is Pride month, a time to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. One of Acknowledge Alliance’s guiding principles and agency values is that we are Relationship-based. This means that as a diverse group of individuals who come together in understanding and collaboration, we make room to learn, model discomfort and awareness, and acknowledge a growth mindset. When someone from the LGBTQIA+ community decides to have a coming out conversation, they may be sharing a deeply private aspect of their identity, in hopes that they will receive acceptance and support in response. Even when a loved one has the best of intentions, it can be challenging to know what to do and say when someone comes out to you. In honor of Pride month, we share helpful tips from NPR for having a positive conversation when someone comes out to you.

1. Make Time for the Conversation
Both parties should recognize that coming out is not a conversation that can be rushed or happen only once (Tu & Low, 2022). Such an important discussion requires a real time commitment so that everyone involved has the opportunity to digest and adjust.

2. Just Listen and Make Space for Them
The fact that someone has chosen to come out to you likely means that they trust you and feel safe being vulnerable with you. Try to hold back on bringing up your own feelings, questions or concerns until a later time. During this first conversation, focus on listening deeply. If you find yourself feeling discomfort, reflect on why you are feeling that way without discussing it. Recognize that it is your own responsibility to deal with those feelings, not the other person’s.

3. Do Not Ask Invasive Questions
Let the person share as much as they are comfortable with, and do not ask questions that they might feel uncomfortable sharing. They are being vulnerable and opening up to you, but they are still entitled to privacy and boundaries.

4. Look for Role Models
It is likely that you know someone who has had someone come out to them, and found a way to be a champion for that person. Connect with that individual and see what advice they can offer you so you can do the same.

Resources for Exploring Identity and Coming Out
If you or someone you know needs tools and support for exploring or sharing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity, check out these resources:

References

Tu, Kathy & Low, Tubin. (2022, December 21). How to navigate coming out on either side of the conversation. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/2020/06/01/867059156/navigating-the-coming-out-conversation-from-both-sides

A Celebration of our Educators and Community Leaders

Thank you to everyone in the Acknowledge Alliance family for making this year’s Forget-Me-Not: Fields of Hope event on April 30th a huge success. We had a wonderful time sharing our passion for the work we do, learning together about nurturing resilience in ourselves and young people, and honoring this year's outstanding educators and community leaders. 

Here are a few highlights from the event, and you can check out all the evening’s photos by Inspired By Studio here and recordings on our Youtube channel.

The evening’s program began with a keynote by Educator, Nonviolence Practitioner and Author, Mike Tinoco, M.Ed., titled “Slow Urgency: How Do We Sustain Ourselves and Work From Within Unjust Systems to Create Change”. Mike spoke about how Kingian nonviolence and nonviolent communication can help us to nourish hope and care for ourselves and others during challenging times. Mike shared how the Kingian Nonviolence philosophy and methodology was the heart of the civil rights movement, led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and many unsung heroes and heroines, and how we could reflect and learn from their example when faced with our own current challenges. By slowing down, meeting the moment with centeredness instead of panic, and prioritizing our own needs and well-being, we are better able to hold on to our vision and improve our efficacy as educators.

Jean Hamilton, LMFT, was presented with the Cleo Eulau Legacy of Resilience award for her over 20 years serving as an Acknowledge Alliance Clinical Supervisor and Resilience Consultant in the Redwood City and Sunnyvale School Districts. The award’s namesake, Cleo Eulau, was our founder and a distinguished clinical social worker whose celebrated career spanned decades in the mental health field. She dedicated her life to supporting at-risk youth in achieving productive and happy lives, and served as an inspiration, mentor and role model to countless mental health professionals. Jean wholly embodies Cleo’s enduring spirit and continues her legacy with her unwavering compassion, empathy, expertise, and commitment. Jean has supported so many educators to grow and navigate life’s challenges, which in turn has positively impacted the lives of countless students.

Principal Sebastian Benavidez of Graham Middle School was honored as the 2025 Educator of the Year. As Rachel Bacosa, the onsite Resilience Consultant at Graham shared, Principal Benavidez’s deep care for his staff is remarkable. He prioritizes their social-emotional needs, understanding that this foundation is crucial for everything that follows with students and families. Principal Benavidez has cultivated a culture where individuals feel supported, respected, and empowered to be their best selves. He models well-being and resilience with authenticity and invites others to do the same - inside school and beyond. The appreciation for Principal Benavidez is so palpable, that educators at Graham Middle School created this video sharing their messages of gratitude and congratulations.

Dr. Michael Gallagher, Superintendent of the Sunnyvale School District, was honored as the Acknowledge Alliance Community Hero. Dr. Gallagher exemplifies our agency values of collaboration and nurturing relationships in service of our greater community. He is a champion of improving school communities, and building lifelong resilience and social emotional well-being of our youth and educators. He has partnered with Acknowledge Alliance to create innovative employee support systems including on-campus resilience consultants and support groups focused on building teacher resilience. Dr. Gallagher is a widely recognized expert in the areas of social-emotional learning and interest-based bargaining, and we were thrilled to recognize his many years of community leadership and synergistic partnership.

Prioritizing Your Mental Health During Uncertain Times

It is nearly impossible for a day to go by without being reminded of the chaos, violence, and human suffering that are unfolding during these uncertain times. War, political uncertainty, discrimination, and traumatic global events can trigger feelings of fear and anxiety that can be harmful to our mental health. These stress-inducing feelings also cause adrenaline and cortisol levels to surge, which can lead to physical health conditions like increased risk of high blood pressure and heart disease (Mayo Clinic, 2023). 

You may be feeling overwhelmed by desires to help, to be a compassionate and informed citizen, and to just tune out all the distressing news and return to normalcy. All of these feelings, as conflicting as they may seem, are completely normal and valid. Caring about others and wanting to help make things better is admirable, but it is important to remember that we are only able to help others if we are taking care of ourselves as well. Check out these 8 tips for prioritizing your mental health and well-being during challenging times so you have the energy and strength to make a positive impact.

1. Take Care of Your Physical Health
Taking care of your body is one way you can focus on the things you can control amidst stressful situations. Get plenty of sleep, maintain a nutritious diet, and try to include some movement in your daily routine (National Alliance on Mental Illness, 2025).

2. Stay Informed, but Set Time Limits on News and Social Media
It is important to be aware of what is happening to the world and the communities we care about, but Mental Health Foundation suggests we ask ourselves “how much information and disturbing news am I currently taking in and how does it make me feel” (Mental Health Foundation, 2025). If we find that it is having a negative impact, then we can take a break from the news or social media accounts by turning off notifications or limiting our intake to smaller time frames (Mental Health Foundation, 2025).

3. Set Boundaries About How and When You Discuss Current Events
Conversations around current events may be challenging when you have differing opinions and points of view. When you find yourself disagreeing with others, “try to focus on active listening, respectful discussion, and assertive communication” (Mental Health Foundation, 2025). If the conversation is becoming too argumentative or stressful, set boundaries by using the example phrases below from National Alliance on Mental Illness (2025):

  •  “Focusing too much on current events is bringing me a lot of stress. Could we talk about something different during our time together today?”

  •  “I like talking with you about this, but I get burnt out when I focus on current events too much. Let’s spend 5 minutes chatting about this and then pick something else to do together.” 

4. Connect with Others
Social support is a critical component of protecting your mental health, so be sure to connect with friends, family, and other people in your community who likely care about the same things that you do (National Alliance on Mental Illness, 2025). Shared connections with others will help you feel less lonely and it may help to tackle problems together.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Coping Skills to Help Manage Overwhelming Emotions
During Acknowledge Alliance’s Projection Resilience social emotional learning lessons with 3rd-8th grade students, resilience consultants share how “coping skills are how you take care of yourself when you have a strong emotion”. Grounding exercises, journaling, practicing gratitude, and meditation are just a few examples of coping strategies you can use when feeling overwhelmed (Mental Health America, 2024).

6. Put Your Emotions into Action
One way to manage stress from current events and to stop feeling powerless is by empowering your voice and taking meaningful action. There are many ways you can put your emotions into action such as:

  • Contact your elected officials to advocate for both local and national policy change (National Alliance on Mental Illness, 2025)

  • Find volunteer opportunities to serve the communities and issues you care about (Mental Health Foundation, 2025)

  • Express your thoughts in a constructive way through civic and political activism (Mental Health Foundation 2025)

  • Remember that you don’t need to save the world all at once. Even minor actions like making a small donation to a cause or sharing a social media post can be small steps toward significant change (Mental Health America, 2024).

7. Find Opportunities to Experience Hope and Joy
Maintaining a positive mindset can help you to better endure challenges and stress, and it does not mean you have to ignore negative feelings to make room for positive ones. As the National Alliance on Mental Illness says, “seeking out hope and joy can help you remember that you have power and choice in times when you feel especially powerless” (2025). You can seek joy and hope by:

  • Keep doing the things you love and bring you joy. These can be hobbies, leisure activities, and spending time with loved ones. 

  • Add uplifting and inspiring news stories to your feeds as well.

  • Laugh whenever you can and cherish the simple joys in life.

8. Get Professional Help When You Need It
Whenever stress or emotions become too much to manage, professional support is available to help you work through your feelings and challenges:

  • San Mateo County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services (BHRS): 800-686-0101

  • Santa Clara County Behavioral Health Services: 800-704-0900

  • National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call or text 988, or chat online at https://988lifeline.org/

References

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2023, August 1). Chronic Stress Puts Your Health at Risk. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037

Mental Health America. (2024). How can I be ok when the world is terrible? Retrieved from https://screening.mhanational.org/content/how-can-i-be-ok-when-world-terrible/

Mental Health Foundation. (2025). Tips to look after your mental health during traumatic world events. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/tips-look-after-your-mental-health-during-traumatic-world-events

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2025, January 29). I’m stressed about current events. How can I practice self-care during uncertain times. Retrieved from https://helplinefaqs.nami.org/article/486-i-m-stressed-about-current-events-how-can-i-practice-self-care-during-uncertain-times

Creating a Positive Mindset

We’ve all heard it before when going through a difficult situation - “try to look on the bright side”. Not everyone is naturally optimistic, nor is it necessary to have irrepressible optimism or toxic positivity. Even though it may seem impossible in the moment, adopting a positive mindset can actually help you handle stress and manage life’s challenges in healthier ways. Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have found that positive thinking can increase life span, decrease rates of depression, lower your risk of death from serious illness like cardiovascular disease and cancer, improve overall psychological and physical well-being, and arm you with better coping skills to endure hardships and stress (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2023). Learn more about the many benefits of having a more optimistic attitude and tips you can use to cultivate a positive mindset today.   

What is a Positive Mindset?
According to Kendra Cherry at Very Well Mind, positive thinking means “approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people, and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light” (Ackerman, 2018).

Optimism is the characteristic of a positive mindset that most commonly comes to mind, but there are many others that should not be overlooked. Acceptance, resilience, gratitude, and mindfulness are all topics covered in Acknowledge Alliance’s Project Resilience social emotional learning lessons for K-8 students associated with cultivating a positive attitude. Our resilience consultants share that:

“Our brains are wired to think negative thoughts first, to keep us alive and safe. It’s harder to think positive thoughts, so we have to work at it. We have to practice thinking positively more often...do you find yourself focusing on things that didn’t go well more than things that did? When you find yourself focusing on things that aren’t going right, what can you do to notice the positive?” 


7 Tips for Building a Positive Mindset

1. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The way you feel and view things can be greatly influenced by who you choose to surround yourself with and what kinds of media content you consume. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who truly want to help you, and avoid doomscrolling by trying to include uplifting content in your feeds.

2. Acknowledge All Your Emotions and Avoid Toxic Positivity
Recognize all your feelings, whether they feel positive or negative, without judgement. Forcing yourself to be positive or ignoring your true emotions can be unhealthy. As calm.com says, “all emotions, including the not so positive ones, have value and are natural. Feeling sad, frustrated, or angry is okay, because these emotions tell us about our experiences or needs so we can learn from them and take appropriate action” (2023).

3. Follow a Healthy Lifestyle
Being healthy physically can significantly improve your mood and ability to manage stress. Research shows that “exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression, and negative mood by improving self-esteem and cognitive function” (Sharma, Madaan & Petty, 2006). Maintaining a healthy diet and getting enough sleep similarly have been linked to improved mental wellness. 

4. Recognize and Reframe Negative Self-talk
Positive thinking often starts with self-talk, the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head (Mayo Clinic Staff, 2023). If your self-talk tends to be negative, your mindset will likely be negative as well. Try to reframe your negative thoughts into more positive ones. Mayo Clinic shares the following examples of negative self-talk and how you can put a more positive spin on them:

5. Check in with Yourself
Make it a daily routine to evaluate how you are feeling and what your needs are. Taking this time out can help you notice when you are having negative thoughts and encourage you to instill some positivity into your life when helpful. 

6. Practice Gratitude
During challenging times, practicing gratitude is a skill that may help us cope with great stress, sadness, anxiety or depression. Recognizing and expressing things you are grateful for, big or small, can help shift your focus away from life’s negative aspects. You can practice gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal, or by sharing your gratitude with others by writing, drawing, or sending a message. 

7. Focus on Your Strengths
During Project Resilience lessons, our resilience consultants teach students that “character strengths are positive parts of who you are. They help you bounce back when something hard happens. Kind of like a superpower!” We all have strengths, and focusing on these instead of your weaknesses will help build your self-confidence and resilience.

References

Ackerman, Courtney. (2018, July 5). Positive Mindset: How to Develop a Positive Mental Attitude. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/positive-mindset/ 

Calm.com. (2023). How to be more positive? Try these 10 positive mindset tips. Retrieved from https://www.calm.com/blog/how-to-be-more-positive 

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2023, November 21). Positive Thinking: Stop Negative Self-talk to Reduce Stress. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Sharma A, Madaan V, Petty FD. Exercise for mental health. Prim Care Companion J Clin Psychiatry. 2006;8(2):106. doi: 10.4088/pcc.v08n0208a. PMID: 16862239; PMCID: PMC1470658.

“What seeds would you like to plant to grow in your community?”

An Inspiring Field Trip with San Miguel Elementary 5th Graders

By Jean Hamilton, LMFT, Resilience Consultant

As a Resilience Consultant working in schools for many years, I have had the opportunity to provide support to the adults who work there in a variety of ways. The support I provide is centered around building and strengthening relationships, fostering flexibility, and responding to the needs for young people to be successful in school. 

An example of this support, and a highlight for me this school year, was participating in a field trip to the Palo Alto Art Center with a fifth grade class from Sunnyvale’s San Miguel Elementary School. When the teacher needed additional chaperones, I quickly volunteered to help without any expectations for what the day would entail. The entire experience was amazing! I am so glad I was able to be a part of this special day for the San Miguel community that truly illustrates the value of connections and the ripple effect those connections can have.

These field trips all started when a second grade teacher at San Miguel happened to meet the woman in charge of the student art programs at the Palo Alto Art Center because their sons were on the same soccer teams. Both mothers had lots of time to talk, hang out, and learn about each other’s work while watching their sons’ games. As a result of them sitting on the bleachers together, a new relationship was established that would lead to annual field trips to the Art Center.

Because of the pandemic, the Palo Alto Art Center received funding to provide field trips for Title I schools in the area, of which San Miguel is one. This allowed the Art Center to provide bus transportation for students, teachers and volunteer chaperones during visits. Transportation for field trips is a huge expense for many schools, and often means field trips simply cannot happen. The Center also provides art activities for students to participate in when they arrive, and docent-led tours and discussion about art in the gallery. These trips are offered twice a year and each is centered around a theme, which was “GROW” during my visit.

When the fifth graders arrived, they were ushered into the art studio where they were given supplies to make a poster based on a prompt: What would you like to grow in your community? What seed or seeds would you like to plant to grow in your community?

What I witnessed in the art studio was a class of 10 and 11-year-olds completely engaged in creating their own art - their own expressions of what they wanted to grow in their community. Each piece was magnificent, unique, hopeful and inspiring. 

The students were asked to put their names on the back and write what they wanted to grow. Some of the seeds they planted in their art included: acceptance, diversity, empathy, happiness, kindness, love, peace, protection, flowers. 

I am happy to share photos of the art that was created that day. I hope that they will plant a seed in you for what you want to grow in your community in this New Year and beyond.

Peace, Empathy, Diversity, Love and Acceptance

How to Set Healthy Holiday Boundaries

The holiday season is a time for generosity, celebrations with loved ones, and cherished traditions. However, we can quickly become overwhelmed by the seemingly endless party invitations, family obligations, the burden of maintaining traditions, and just making sure that the holidays are special for everyone. If we are not careful about setting limits with ourselves and others, we risk burning out by spending all our time, energy and money trying to please everyone but ourselves. A 2021 study found that 60% of Americans feel their mental health is negatively impacted by the holidays, with increases in anxiety and depression (Ellis, 2021)

Some people may equate setting boundaries with creating conflict or distance from others, but boundaries are actually a great way to ensure the holidays are enjoyable for everyone. Setting, communicating and maintaining healthy boundaries can strengthen your relationships and lead to fewer misunderstandings (Martin, 2021). Try out these 7 ways you can set healthy boundaries so you can protect your well-being and experience a more joyous holiday season.

1. Determine Your Priorities and Define Your Boundaries in Advance
To determine your priorities, Crisis Text Line suggests you start by asking yourself what the most meaningful aspects of the holidays are for you (2023). You can also identify people and situations that cause you to feel anger, disappointment, resentment, stress, sadness, and other difficult emotions (Martin, 2021). Here are some helpful questions you can ask yourself from psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation advisor Ernesto Lira de la Rosa:

  • What things are important for me to do during this holiday season?

  • How do I want to feel after the holidays are over?

  • Do I need some time for myself during the holiday season?

  • What will help me feel happy during the holiday season?

  • Am I saying yes to a lot of things because I feel guilty?

After you define your boundaries, write them down so you have clear guidelines for what you want to achieve and why it is important (Martin, 2021).

2. Communicate Openly
If you want your boundaries to be respected, you need to be able to effectively communicate them to the people you want to follow them. Have an honest conversation with the individual clearly explaining your boundary and why it is important to you. It may be difficult to openly express how their behavior has negatively affected you, but they are more likely to respect your wishes if they understand your perspective (Crisis Text Line, 2023).

3. Say No (Kindly) and Yes to What You Really Want To
It is impossible to please everyone all the time, and “it is perfectly acceptable to allocate your time and energy to what matters most to you” (Crisis Text Line, 2023). Consider what your top 2-3 holiday-related activities are and commit to saying “yes” to these (Ellis, 2021). Politely decline to the rest as needed, and try to communicate what you can and cannot do in advance so people can adjust their expectations accordingly (Martin, 2021).

Image courtesy of SelfLoveRainbow on Instagram

4. Set a Budget for Holiday Spending
Gift-giving, travel and other holiday expenses can cause significant financial stress. You can avoid this by setting your overall seasonal spending budget in advance and sticking to it. Maintaining these boundaries may mean communicating your spending limits for gift exchanges, or simply opting out of them all together (Ellis, 2021).

5. Excuse Yourself from Triggering Conversations
Whether it be distant family you rarely see, coworkers you do not frequently socialize with, or even loved ones you are around often, most of us find ourselves interacting with people who have different points of view and communication styles during the holidays. These differences may be exacerbated when conversations at the dinner table turn to politics, religion, culture or current events. Avoid triggering conversations by just saying “we will have to agree to disagree” or “I am here to enjoy family and the holiday, not debate” (Ellis, 2021). 

6. Prioritize Self-Care
It is easy to forget to take care of ourselves during the hectic holiday season. Make it a point to find time for yourself to recharge. Take time to meditate, read for pleasure, journal, exercise or do whatever leaves you feeling rejuvenated. Doing so will help you stay grounded and less likely to feel overwhelmed (Ellis, 2021)

7. Maintain and Set Consequences for Your Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an ongoing practice and not a one-time activity (Martin, 2021). You may need to reiterate the same boundary to some people, and consider what you will do when your nonnegotiable boundaries are violated. As psychotherapist Divya Robin says, “boundaries without a consequence are just a suggestion” (Ellis, 2021). If you have decided that a specific boundary has no room for flexibility and someone refuses to respect it, you do not have to tolerate their behavior. Although you cannot force someone to behave a certain way, you can choose to limit interaction with those who violate your boundaries in order to protect your own emotional well-being (Ellis, 2021) 
 

References:

Calderon, Dominee. (2024, November 19). Boundaries During the Holidays Can Sound Like. Retrieved from https://www.instagram.com/p/DCj6VQrtI90/

Crisis Text Line. (2023, December 6). How to Set Healthy Boundaries for the Holidays. Retrieved from https://www.crisistextline.org/blog/2023/12/06/how-to-set-healthy-boundaries-for-the-holidays/

Ellis, Sydni. (2021, December 14). 10 Realistic Ways To Set Boundaries With Others During The Holidays. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/set-boundaries-others-holiday_l_61ae7bdde4b0eb351707a386

Martin, Sharon. (2021, December 16). Healthy Holiday Boundaries. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202112/healthy-holiday-boundaries

A Day in the Life of a Resilience Consultant

 
 

My name is Pam Lozoff, and I am an Acknowledge Alliance Resilience Consultant supporting several elementary schools in Mountain View and Redwood City. 

To be a Resilience Consultant is to be fluid like water, responsive to the changing tides of each school climate and culture and all of the individuals who comprise each school ecosystem. Some schools have a steady flow of processes and team dynamics, others are more in crisis, like a fire hose or a torrent. Each day and each week are dynamic; we continue to shape shift and adapt to each changing school environment. 

To illustrate the many ways that our team of mental health professionals are building thriving school communities, I am delighted to share with you a composite of real-life examples across multiple school sites to give you a glimpse into a “typical day” of a Resilience Consultant:

8:30 am: I arrive at my school site and settle into my working space. It is a communal office space shared with three other staff members. I feel very lucky to have a dedicated working area at one of my sites, since space is always so coveted at schools. 

9 am: I meet one-on-one with the school counselor. During our time together, I provide support with her caseload of students, her SEL curriculum and managing challenges at the school.

9:30 am: I am off to a one-on-one meeting with the school’s Resource Specialist to discuss her high levels of stress.  We talk about how she can incorporate daily self-care practices, like taking a 10 minute walk around campus and doing an intention setting and end of day ritual to set boundaries on work stress before going home. Educators have so much on their plates, and can really benefit from learning these effective strategies for dealing with stress.

10 am: Next, I attend a meeting with the 5th grade teaching team to provide support with some challenges they are having with a particular student. Together, we brainstorm interventions and strategies for staying regulated when addressing big feelings with students.  

10:30 am: The next meeting I have is with the 3rd grade teaching team to discuss some challenges they are having with their new district-wide English Language Arts curriculum. It has been particularly challenging with students who are English Language Learners and are a few grade levels behind in their literacy. I remind the teachers how important it is to give themselves grace and compassion as they are tasked with the significant feat of teaching bilingual education.

11:30 am: It’s lunch time! It is essential to take the time to pause during the busy day for my lunch break, so I can recharge my batteries. Somedays I choose to take my lunch alone, but today I have my lunch in the staff lounge with school staff.  At Castro Elementary School, there is a wonderful place of respite where I will sometimes meet with staff to catch a breath amidst the flurry of the school day.

12 pm: I host a Weekly Recharge gathering so staff have a space to decompress and connect with one another. We usually have tea together, I guide a brief meditation or mindful movement practice, and staff are invited to share a current stressor or self-care practice. We had a great turnout with 9 staff members attending the first session!

12:30 pm: One-on-one meeting with a 1st Grade teacher who has been struggling with regulating her own emotions.  

1 pm: I meet with the school’s Community Liaison to debrief about an event he had led and feelings of frustration he had with a few colleagues. We talk about some effective communication strategies he can use to discuss his frustrations in a constructive way.

1:30 pm: I meet with the 2nd grade teaching team where we chat about different strategies they can use to help balance their professional and personal lives. This is challenging in any profession, but especially for teachers who have so many duties and responsibilities beyond teaching content daily. 

2 pm: I have a meeting with the school principal. Among a variety of topics, we talk about how Acknowledge Alliance can continue to support the principal in creating a positive school culture where people feel valued and supported. 

2:30 pm: I wrap up with my administrative tasks and enter my notes from the day. Then it’s time for the long commute home!

On Halloween, two of our school sites that share a campus combined their school communities to orchestrate a parade for over 600 students and their families. It really shows what amazing things we can accomplish when we all work together to create warm, positive school environments.

Practicing Gratitude This Holiday Season

The hectic holiday season is once again upon us. Along with the joy of gatherings and festivities, the holidays may also trigger stress, sadness, anxiety or depression. In fact, a 2021 American Psychiatric Association poll found that 41% of U.S. adults reported an increase in stress during the holidays. Respondents shared they were worried about things like general finances, the ability to afford gifts, and stressful family dynamics (Wilde, 2023).

By practicing gratitude regularly, we can improve our mental health and better cope with the many challenges of the holiday season. In their work with students and teachers throughout the year, Acknowledge Alliance’s therapists and resilience consultants often emphasize the many health and well-being benefits of recognizing and expressing the things we are grateful for. Research has shown that gratitude has significant positive impacts on the body and mind. Gratitude has been found to help release toxic emotions, reduce pain symptoms, improve sleep quality, aid in stress regulation, and reduce anxiety and depression (Chowdhury, 2019).

As part of our Project Resilience social emotional learning lessons for elementary and middle school students, our resilience consultants share that:

“Our brains are wired to think negative thoughts first, to keep us alive and safe. It’s harder to think positive thoughts, so we have to work at it. We have to practice thinking positively to be able to think positively more often.”

You can start cultivating gratitude today by trying out two of the activities that our team uses with students in Project Resilience:

1. See good things as “gifts.”
Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts, write down 4 things you are grateful for, whatever they may be.

2. Share your kind thoughts and gratitude with others by writing, drawing, or sending a message.
Write a compliment or thank-you note for someone in your home, share a message of gratitude with a friend over a phone call or text, or draw a picture of something that makes you feel happy and display it for others to see. Members of the Acknowledge Alliance team put this into practice and shared the following messages of gratitude:

- Tracy Lyons, Resilience Consultation Program Director
 

“Something that makes me happy is when one of my adult children says “yes” to dinner - a simple couple of hours of quality time together.”

- Cindy Goldman, Secretary of Board of Directors

"This is a saying I find very helpful."
- Susan Esterly, Vice Chair of Board of Directors
  

“This year, my feelings of immense gratitude are for all of our staff and board members at Acknowledge Alliance. I am constantly impressed by your performance. Your remarkable talents and skills fuel our mission, and your excellent work and care are an inspiration to me every day. Thank you.”
- Sharon Navarro, Executive Director

References

Chowdhury, Madhuleena Roy. (2019, April 9). The Neuroscience of Gratitude and Effects on the Brain. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/  

Wilde, Sadie. (2023, November 10). Ask an Expert — Four Ways Gratitude Can Keep Your Holidays Happy. Retrieved from https://www.usu.edu/today/story/ask-an-expert--four-ways-gratitude-can-keep-your-holidays-happy

Building Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, and Access in Silicon Valley

By Ryan Magcuyao, Director of Development

For the past year, I have had the opportunity to represent Acknowledge Alliance on the Board of Directors of the Association of Fundraising Professionals, Silicon Valley Chapter (AFPSV). As part of this partnership, I had the privilege of leading the IDEA (Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, and Accessibility) Fellowship Program. This program acknowledges that many nonprofits, especially in fundraising and development roles, are missing the voices and experiences of young professionals of color, LGBTQ+, and other underrepresented communities, and provides those professionals with training, mentoring, and leadership opportunities. This program culminated in a luncheon panel entitled “Holding The Door: The Impact of Cultural Shifts Around DEI”. The visionary panel speakers, Lavere Foster (African American Community Service Agency), Maria Garcia (The Health Trust), and Anna Dapelo-Garcia (Stanford Health Care, Lean In Latinas) spoke on the importance of DEI and how to advocate for it as we see increased push-back, politicization, and vilification. 

Acknowledge Alliance’s continued focus on promoting DEI in our agency aligns with the work of our panelists. As an agency that supports students and teachers, the majority of whom are from diverse races and cultures, are from economically disenfranchised backgrounds, and have experienced various challenges, we strive to reflect those we serve. We acknowledge that everyone comes from a different background, and those experiences matter in how they shape our work. These conversations identify diversity beyond just ethnicity, and also include gender, orientation, disability, and zip code are all important factors that must be considered. 

As Ms. Dapelo-Garcia said during the panel, “this work requires you to rock the boat and say things that will make people uncomfortable”, which is a sentiment that the leadership of Acknowledge Alliance greatly believes in. By being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, we allow ourselves to be open to difficult conversations around racism, prejudice, violence, and stigma within the school and mental health systems. I am proud of Acknowledge Alliance and AFPSV’s work to disrupt industry culture to allow equitable growth for diverse individuals. 

The IDEA Fellowship is a year-long professional development program that grants fellows full access to all the benefits of AFPSV membership free of cost. These benefits include a year membership to AFP, automatic enrollment into the AFP Mentorship Program, monthly workshops on a variety of topics, monthly cohort meetings with guest speakers from the AFP board of directors, and more. AFPSV is currently accepting applications for the 2025 cohort.

View the full recording of "Holding the Door: The Impact of Cultural Shifts Around DEI"

Suicide Prevention: Know the Signs, Find the Words, and Reach Out

September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time to empower each of us in our community to prevent suicide. Did you know that for the last 5 years in California, suicide has been the second leading cause of death for youth ages 10 to 25? Locally, the 2023 San Mateo County Health and Quality of Life Survey revealed that 45% of county residents were experiencing difficulty with loneliness and isolation. Learn more about how to spot warning signs of suicide and how you can take steps to prevent it below. Remember, we can all be the one to take actions that can promote healing, help and give hope. 

Warning Signs
According to 988 Lifeline, the following warning signs may help you determine if someone you care about is at risk for suicide. This is especially true ”if their behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss or change” (988 Lifeline, 2024).

  • Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves

  • Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun

  • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live

  • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain

  • Talking about being a burden to others

  • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

  • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly

  • Sleeping too little or too much

  • Withdrawing or isolating themselves

  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

  • Extreme mood swings

5 Steps for Communicating with Someone in Crisis
Supported by evidence in the field of suicide prevention, 988 Lifeline has five action steps for communicating with someone in crisis:

1. Ask
Studies show that acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce suicidal ideation. By asking “are you thinking about suicide?” in a direct, unbiased manner, you open the door to communication with the person you are concerned about. After asking this question, it is important to listen to what they have to say in a non-judgemental and supportive way. Be sure to listen to their reasons for being in such emotional pain, and help them focus on the reasons they share for wanting to stay alive. Remember, never promise to keep their thoughts of suicide a secret. 

2. Be There
Just by being there, you can save the life of someone having suicidal thoughts. Whether you are there for them physically, by speaking to them on the phone, or in any other way you can provide support, you are increasing their connectedness to others and limiting their sense of isolation. Research has shown that connectedness is a key protective factor against suicide, hopelessness and psychological pain (Klonsky & May, 2014).

3. Help Keep Them Safe
This step is centered around putting time and distance between the person and highly lethal means (like firearms and medications) or their chosen method of suicide. Studies have shown that when access to such means is removed, suicide rates by that method decline. You can ask the following questions to help gather the information you need to ensure the person’s immediate safety:

  • Have they already done anything to try to kill themselves before talking with you?

  • Does the person experiencing thoughts of suicide know how they would kill themselves?

  • Do they have a specific, detailed plan?

  • What’s the timing for their plan?

  • What sort of access do they have to their planned method?

Once you know the answers to these questions, you can reach out to 988 Lifeline or 911 for help and next steps.

4. Help Them Connect
The person will need ongoing support, so it is important to help them create a safety net for times when they are in crisis. A safety net can include sources of support in their community, such as 988 Lifeline, a mental health professional, and other resources. You can also help them to develop a safety plan, which can help them identify when they are starting to experience severe suicidal thoughts, what they can do in those moments, and a list of individuals they can contact.

5. Follow Up
Studies have shown that the number of deaths by suicide were decreased when simple follow-up was conducted. Receiving a text or phone call to check-in can help the person increase their feelings of connectedness and being supported.

Helpful Resources

References
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. (2024).How and Why the 5 Steps Can Help. Retrieved from https://www.bethe1to.com/bethe1to-steps-evidence/

Klonsky, E. David & May, Alexis M. (2015, June 29). The Three-Step Theory (3ST): A New Theory of Suicide Rooted in the “Ideation-to-Action” Framework. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy 2015 8:2, 114-129.

San Mateo County Health. (2024). Suicide Prevention Month San Mateo County. Retrieved from https://smcsuicideprevention.com/

Collective Resilience: How can we be well TOGETHER?

In August, Acknowledge Alliance was thrilled to be a part of Boys & Girls Clubs of Silicon Valley’s Wellness Day 2024. BGCSV offers innovative and effective afterschool and summer enrichment programs primarily for low-income, at-risk Santa Clara County youth ages 5-18+. BGCSV’s trained youth development staff provide mentoring relationships in six core program areas: Education, Technology, Character & Leadership, Health, Arts, and Sports. On Wellness Day, over 230 of BGCSV’s youth development staff gathered to embrace the day’s theme of Holistic Wellness: nurturing the mind, body and spirit.

Acknowledge Alliance Program Manager Poonam Raj Singh, Ed.M, PCC gave the keynote address titled “Collective Resilience: How can we be well TOGETHER?” Poonam shared her own wellness journey as a youth development professional, and guided attendees in figuring out what wellness means together by discussing concepts around collective resilience. The group learned how we can draw from our own stories, nature and indigenous wisdom, Black feminist thought, and radical imagination to anchor our definitions of collective resilience. Afterall, as Black feminist author, professor and activist bell hooks said, “rarely if ever are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”

Resilience Consultants Cheyenne Berry, Cheree Clark, and Cortney Richardson were also on hand providing wellness check-ins and self-care resources. From having confidential conversations about work-related or personal issues, providing mental health resources, or sharing fun Self-Care Bingo cards, our staff loved meeting members of the BGCSV team. We are so inspired by the amazing youth development professionals of BGCSV and appreciate all they do to help our community’s young people thrive!

How to Help Our Youth Reduce Screen Time and Feel Better About Themselves

For many young people, more free time during the summer leads to more time spent on screens. A survey published by Common Sense Media found that the average youth ages 8 to 12 spends 5.5 hours daily using screens, and teenagers ages 13 to 18 spend an average of 8.75 hours daily on screens (Moyer, 2022). This tends to increase even more during the summer, which is concerning since studies have shown a strong correlation between social media use and increased rates of depression and anxiety in young people (Doucleff, 2023). Research has shown that teens that reduced their social media usage to 60 minutes a week felt better about the way they look (Aubrey, 2023). Even teens themselves recognize the benefit of reducing screen time, with 72% saying they often or sometimes feel peaceful when they do not have their smartphone (Anderson, Faverio & Park, 2024).

Take a look at these tips to help you and the young people in your life to reduce screen usage:

1. Set clear goals and expectations, and hold yourselves accountable.
Psychology Today suggests creating a contract and/or technology agreement that clearly defines device usage guidelines and the consequences for breaking the rules (Scheff, 2022). To stay accountable, use device features to monitor behavior by tracking screen time, app usage and how often you pick up your device. To help reduce the urge to use your device, you can turn off social media notifications and set up a daily downtime in your device settings (Aubrey, 2023)

2. Start small by setting attainable goals.
If you are currently spending most of your free time on screens, it may be unrealistic to immediately cut down to the recommended 1-2 hours per day (Scherger, 2023). Start by scheduling a one-day break from devices each week, when your whole family will disconnect for a full 24 hours. Artist and film-maker Tiffany Shlain finds that turning off devices every Friday evening helps teens to reduce “fear of missing out” (also referred to as FOMO) that can often be triggered when teenagers compare their own experiences to others’ weekend social media posts (Aubrey, 2023).

3. Be engaged and model screen time usage.
Studies have shown that parents are their children’s greatest influence, so setting a good example is incredibly important in encouraging youth to reduce device usage (Scheff, 2022). Reflect on your own behavior and consider what message it may be sending to your children. Do you bring your phone to the table for mealtime? Are you constantly checking your text messages or social media? (Scheff, 2022). Start by changing your own behaviors and dedicate time daily to speaking face-to-face with your children and giving them your undivided attention (Scherger, 2023).

4. Store devices away to reduce temptation.
During designated screen-free times, put devices away where children and teens cannot readily access them. This can be at a charging station in a common area (Scherger, 2023) or in a lockbox if you need something to guarantee they will not be able to get their devices (Scheff, 2022).

5. Create device-free zones in the home.
It is often said that the best conversations happen around the dinner table. So why not make the shared meal area a device-free zone to help refocus family time around each other rather than screens (Scherger, 2023)?

6. Spend your time doing real-life activities.
By spending less time looking at screens, you will have more time to do other activities that bring you joy. Go on a walk outside, workout, read a book, listen to a podcast or go see your friends in person (Aubrey, 2023).

7. Curate your social media feed to invoke positive feelings.
Social media images are often manipulated to make people appear slimmer or more attractive, creating unrealistic and harmful messages about what the ideal body looks like. Be conscious of how different posts or stories make you feel, and “if a post or story makes you feel uncomfortable or less-than, make a choice to mute or unfollow” (Aubrey, 2023). Instead, connect with people who share your interests and values, and create a feed that makes you feel good (Aubrey, 2023).


References

Anderson, Monica, Faverio, Michelle, and Park, Eugenie. (2024, March 11). How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/

Aubrey, Allison. (2023, February 26). How to help young people limit screen time -  and feel better about how they look. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/02/26/1159099629/teens-social-media-body-image

Doucleff, Michaeleen. (2023, April 25). The Truth About Teens, Social Media and the Mental Health Crisis. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/04/25/1171773181/social-media-teens-mental-health

Moyer, Melinda Wenner. (2022, March 24). Kids as Young as 8 Are Using Social Media More Than Ever, Study Finds. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/24/well/family/child-social-media-use.html

Scheff, Sue. (2022, June 29). How to Reduce Screen Time and Improve Your Teen's Health. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shame-nation/202206/how-reduce-screen-time-and-improve-your-teens-health

Scherger, Sarah. (2023, April 17). 6 tips to reduce children's screen time. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/6-tips-to-reduce-childrens-screen-time