The holiday season is often a time that comes with a long list of traditions - ones we cherish, ones we have simply inherited, and others that no longer resonate with who we are. While traditions can offer comfort and connection, they can also create pressure, negative feelings, or a sense of obligation that diminishes joy. Research conducted by the American Psychiatric Association found that 41% of American adults reported an increase in stress during the holidays (Wilde, 2023).This year, consider giving yourself permission to redefine the holiday season in ways that support your mental and emotional well-being.
Decide What Truly Matters to You
Before the flurry of invitations, countdowns, and shopping lists take over, take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you when it comes to the holidays. Ask yourself these three questions:
1. Which traditions energize me?
2. Which traditions drain me?
3. What feelings do I want more of this season? Peace? Connection? Rest? Fun?
Be honest with yourself so you can start being more intentional about how you spend your time and energy this December.
Let Go of Traditions That No Longer Serve You
Just because you have been doing something every year does not mean you have to keep doing it. If a tradition is exhausting, a financial burden or makes you unhappy, it may be time to let it go. Examples of letting go of traditions can include:
Opting out of certain gatherings
Scaling back on gift-giving
Choosing more low-key holiday decor
Limiting how often you bake or cook for holiday events
Remember that letting go of certain traditions actually creates space for new traditions that better align with the person you are today.
Build New Traditions That Support Your Well-Being
After identifying what you value in traditions, you can create new ones that support those values. Your new traditions can be personal, family-oriented, or include good friends:
Going on winter nature walks
Having a weekly cozy “night in”
Keeping a gratitude journal through the holiday season
Focusing on experiences or DIY presents for gift exchanges
Volunteering or donating to causes you are passionate about
Set Healthy Boundaries
Some people may equate setting boundaries with creating conflict or distance from others, but boundaries are actually a great way to ensure the holidays are enjoyable for everyone. Setting, communicating and maintaining healthy boundaries can strengthen your relationships and lead to fewer misunderstandings (Martin, 2021) Examples of ways you can communicate boundaries include:
“I will be at the dinner, but I need to leave early.”
“I’m keeping gifts simple this year.”
“I would be happy to celebrate, but I need something low-key this year.”
References:
Martin, Sharon. (2021, December 16). Healthy Holiday Boundaries. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202112/healthy-holiday-boundaries
Wilde, Sadie. (2023, November 10). Ask an Expert — Four Ways Gratitude Can Keep Your Holidays Happy. Retrieved from https://www.usu.edu/today/story/ask-an-expert--four-ways-gratitude-can-keep-your-holidays-happy